Suction101

On the Road to Workville

2006-02-12T22:36:00.000-07:00

The reality of my situation has finally taken center stage. Although the lazy bum in me really wants to continue to do nothing, my right wing capitalist side won’t stand for it any longer. My love of money and security is much stronger than any hippie tendencies I have. I will kid myself no longer and attempt to re-enter the work force. I have already begun the self marketing process including cover letter, resume, website, and routine bathing. I’m sure potential employers will appreciate that. Now the games shall begin!

P.S. - If you would like to hire me, here is my resume.

I’m a team player with a go get ‘em attitude! (Insert additional “hire me” clichés here.)

One Month

2006-01-24T22:16:00.000-07:00

Any and all left over emotion of being jobless has melted away. I have hit my stride in this life of leisure. I really need to make it a point to update this thing on a daily basis, because I honestly have no idea what it is I do. I know I have random lunches with new and old friends, and I know I watch TV from the hours of 4:30pm – 6:00pm. The reason I know this is because the setting sun pours in from a distant window in the kitchen taunting me as it slides slowly across the TV screen, but today I got the last laugh!

The only other way I can remember what I have done is by reviewing the pictures that I have shot. But not to worry I would never forget these ones.

AHHHH yes, I almost forgot. I sold my car yesterday, so now it’s official. I am a complete and total bum. I have never been happier!

The Business Beard Strikes

2006-01-12T15:40:00.000-07:00

I have been held up in my office working on my new portfolio (www.michaelalonzo.com) and resume. I don’t really have any desire to start looking for full-time work, but it’s better to be prepared. In fact today I got to unleash the business beard on an unsuspecting job fair. It turned out to be a complete waste of time, but I could sense the respect and utter amazement of my unemployment trophy.

I thought the mustache had magical powers, but the beard demonstrates patience and a willingness to go the extra mile. This is truly my first step into middle management and manhood.

Weekend Update

2006-01-08T23:57:00.000-07:00

Its official, I am completely immersed in the unemployed life. I have turned nocturnal and the day has transformed to night. This is a terrible habit to pick up, so I better start accomplishing stuff during these early morning hours.

This weekend was pretty laid back, I attended a charity event that a friend of mine put on to raise some money for a local arts high school. I would have loved to go to a place like this when I was a budding artist. Maybe I wouldn’t have become so jaded with art and be forced to morph into a right-wing capitalist . It was good to help out a bit and see some of my old friends. Today was some family time, as I sleep on my moms couch for 3 hours. Nothing like a little family bonding!

Week One in the Books

2006-01-05T23:47:00.000-07:00

Unemployment is a lot like summer vacation at a not-so-close relative’s home. You try and enjoy the break from the grind by doing menial tasks wondering when the day will come ending your restless vacation. However; this week wasn’t a total waste it did have some nice highlights. Monday I watched the Fiesta Bowl at a bar a mile from the stadium with a group of hot renegade drunken girls betting on the outcome of the game. Tuesday I got my design hustle on and closed a deal to create a website. I hate doing that work but I got to get money where I can. Wednesday probably the pinnacle of my week I got the chance to shoot the Phoenix Suns Dancers.

I owe this shoot to my buddy Guilio that has been letting me assist him. Although I do have one complaint … After we were done shooting the girls G and I couldn’t miss the opportunity to have our pictures taken with the freshly oiled up, wonder bra wearing team. Unfortunately when it was my turn to pose he totally botched the shot and let the back light almost burn my face completely out ...

... and he’s suppose to be the PRO! I can’t be to mad he did make is possible for me to go. Today I spent the vast majority of the day working on the website that I closed earlier in the week … shoot me now!

Cleanfest ‘06

2006-01-01T20:31:00.000-07:00

Today I woke up in a cesspool I call my house. I love organizing but absolutely hate cleaning, especially floors. I got off to a good start with my bedroom but began losing steam fast. Luckily for me my mom came over and motivated me to push through. She just shook her head to see me all bacholorfied again. Being the loving mother, she took pity on this lost soul and hauled me to the dollar store buying more cleaning supplies than any single human needs.

With the scent of various off brand cleaning supplies in the air my mother and I turned this house from a rank bachelor pad to a beautiful pimp pad. A clean house is nice!

New Years Eve at Sun Devil Stadium

2005-12-31T21:31:00.000-07:00

Tonight I assisted by buddy Guilio with a photo shoot at ASU. He was shooting an artist named Mike Sullivan, which created a tribute piece to Pat Tillman displayed in the ASU tunnel to the field. It was some pretty amazing work.

After the shoot we were taken on a tour of the facility checking out all the offices and displays. It was awesome to see the freshly completed field all ready for the Fiesta Bowl.

More Lunch

2005-12-30T17:22:00.000-07:00

The great thing about being an unemployed bum is you have the freedom to have lunch with different people every day. I should probably cut back on the lunches before I run out of money, but a man’s gotta eat! Other than some Subway and needed conversation, today was mostly VEG in bed and let that sweet beard grow in.

Lunch at the Heart Attack Grill

2005-12-29T18:16:00.000-07:00

Today some of the boys from Data Doctors took me to lunch at a place called Heart Attack Grill. The name says it all. They have burgers call “Bypass” and fries covered in gravy and cheese. Dear lord I did not feel good when I left.

The waitresses were most of the experience. They were a flock of trashy nurses ranting insults and other flirtatious remarks, for me I was called a pussy and threatened by death because of the hate I was wearing. Chicks love me.

Layoff 2006

2005-12-29T18:08:00.000-07:00

Well it has happened again. As of 12/27/05, I no longer work for Data Doctors. It was a pretty good run but ended a little sour. I have spent the last few days going through the normal emotions but now I think my head is pretty clear. The last time this happened I kept an online diary. It's going to be so much easier this time around with all this blogging software. It’s funny to look back on it and realize it was one of the best times in my life. Here we go again!

Pure American Toplight

2005-12-13T17:29:00.000-07:00

Marbles Mid-Focus

2005-12-12T17:50:00.000-07:00

Marbles Two Tone

2005-12-11T18:22:00.000-07:00

Orange Sunset

2005-11-22T17:15:00.000-07:00

Chain

2005-11-21T17:17:00.000-07:00

Eyes

2005-11-20T18:22:00.000-07:00

1900

2005-11-17T13:02:00.000-07:00

American

2005-11-16T10:44:00.000-07:00

Yellow Sail

2005-11-15T08:40:00.000-07:00

Trash Can

2005-11-14T23:10:00.000-07:00

American Flag

2005-11-13T16:53:00.000-07:00

Lighting Teacher

2005-11-12T19:19:00.000-07:00

So today was the first day in my new lighting class. This is my instructor posing for me while I practice backligting.

Fire Lane

2005-10-26T08:19:00.000-07:00

Shadow

2005-10-24T21:07:00.000-07:00

Shadows in black and white are artsy.

Grand Central Station

2005-10-23T21:58:00.000-07:00

This is one amazing train station. This is the most impressive transit system that I have ever seen ... and the first.

Mast

2005-10-22T21:22:00.000-07:00

Looking to the sky the same way a whaling boat captain would ... arrhhh!

Steps

2005-10-20T20:48:00.000-07:00

This is the steps to a scary old, abandoned mental hospital. From what I hear some bad things went down here ... but it makes for some creepy pictures.

Spears

2005-10-19T17:35:00.000-07:00

These are whaling spears taken at the Mystic Seaport in Mystic, CT . I learned all about the lost art of whaling and found my lifes calling.

Cloudy Night

2005-10-18T18:29:00.000-07:00

20 second exposure taken in my backyard on a cloudy night.

Transparent Cat

2005-10-17T19:03:00.000-07:00

Long exposure of a cat on my fence at night.

Subway

2005-10-16T13:45:00.000-07:00

This is the subway under Time Square in New York City.

Tickets

2005-10-15T08:52:00.000-07:00

I took this at the BIG E, which might be the sweetest state fair ever. Why so sweet you ask ... well because it's the state fair for not 1 but 5 states. New England really knows how to deep fry!

Tyler Train

2005-10-12T22:43:00.000-07:00

On the train from Stamford to New York.

On Looker

2005-10-11T17:38:00.000-07:00

This was one of the people listening to the man at the World Trade Centers every word in awe.

WTC Speech

2005-10-10T22:17:00.000-07:00

I took this at ground zero of a man that was explaining to anyone that would listen about what happened at the World Trade Center. Very moving.

Butterfly

2005-10-09T19:22:00.000-07:00

It has been awhile since a post but I'm back and ready to go. Here is a shot from this past weekend from the Butterfly Pavilion at the Desert Botanical Garden.

Mikestache

2005-09-19T21:51:00.000-07:00

In 2001 the tradition of growing a mustache in the summer began. We called it mustache summer. This is my attempt for 2005. Check out the original project - Mustache Summer 2k1

Mother Daughter

2005-08-30T12:29:00.000-07:00

A little mother daughter bonding.

Ian

2005-08-29T08:46:00.000-07:00

Kids are a challenge to shoot.

Birds Eye View

2005-08-25T22:27:00.000-07:00

This is my grandmother’s crazy little bird. It follows her around and whistles the Mexican Hat Dance.

Mothers Agony

2005-08-24T09:11:00.000-07:00

This was taken during a breast cancer walk up Snow Bowl in Flagstaff, AZ. The walk was 8 miles uphill. She made it, just barely.

Watermelon

2005-08-22T23:00:00.000-07:00

Most grandmothers feed you sweets, however mine is a health nut and attempts to feed us all natural snacks. Unfortunately I am allergic to watermelon, so I just took a picture of it.

Grandma Jessie

2005-08-21T22:03:00.000-07:00

My grandmother never smiles in pictures. I believe this is the first that I have ever seen.

Adam Exposed

2005-08-17T23:15:00.000-07:00

Here's a picture of Adam that I exposed for about 5 seconds.

Lomo Plane

2005-08-16T21:52:00.000-07:00

This past weekend I let Juli barrow my lomo to let her experience the magic that is lomography. I had shot a few images from a couple years back that were still in the camera. This is one of thoes pictures.

Matt

2005-08-15T21:27:00.000-07:00

Shooting people sitting next to large windows in fast food places is steadily becoming my daily go to shot. I think I need to get out more.

Melanie

2005-08-14T21:07:00.000-07:00

This weekend I had high hopes of going out and shooting amazing pictures. Well I didn't find the motivation I needed to get out, but I did shoot this one while watching tv.

Lomo

2005-08-13T21:01:00.000-07:00

I found a lomo group on Flickr that has made me want to try and shoot with my LC-A again.

Wine Room

2005-08-12T20:20:00.000-07:00

Here's a picture of a wine room I shot for Switch Magazine.

The Wests Most Western Town

2005-08-11T21:19:00.000-07:00

I have lived in Scottsdale Arizona for a few years now and near it for about 20. I never once noticed what the City of Scottsdales seal actually read. The other signs read the most livable city but that must only be second to the western theme.

Clean up you ogs mess!

2005-08-10T19:31:00.000-07:00

After shooting this picture, I turned around to see an angry woman coming towards me. She immediately started asking me questions. What do you think you are doing? Why are you shooting peoples backyards? Why can't I just mind my own business? I tried to explain to her that I was just shooting random objects. I even showed her the images I took but she wouldn't let up, so I walked her down to my house to prove I lived in the neighborhood. Oh well at least someone is watching out for suspicious people.

More Adam

2005-08-09T21:22:00.000-07:00

He seems to always be sitting across from me at lunch when I have the camera. I think he likes the attention.

Car in Rain

2005-08-08T22:25:00.000-07:00

I have never tried changing my ISO before but since it was so low light I figured I would give it a try. Looks like it actually works.

Boxer Luv Calendar

2005-08-06T00:17:00.000-07:00

The past 2 weekends I volunteered to shoot some pictures for a charity calendar that would benefit Boxer Luv Rescue. It was a good cause but man it was an exercise in patience.

Lunch?

2005-08-05T14:24:00.000-07:00

Today Adam couldn't decide what to eat for lunch ... can you blame him, there was a camera in his face.

Commercial Photographer Wannabe

2005-08-04T22:24:00.000-07:00

Here's a picture I took to try and mimic a cell phone ad. Can you guess which brand it could be for?

Passing the Torch

2005-08-03T23:07:00.000-07:00

This is a picture of my old Olympus E10 and my buddy Matt. I sold that camera to him so I could buy my new Nikon D70s. Matt is cutting his teeth with this camera on the road as we speak ... check it out.

Cookie Cutter

2005-08-02T21:34:00.000-07:00

Everyone wants to be an individual and express themselves, however they insist on moving into identical homes.

Photo Archive

2005-08-01T18:42:00.000-07:00

Since I am not the most profound writer or even motivated enough to stay up-to-date with standard blog posts, I have decided to start using my blog as a photo archive for awhile. My friend Tyler is doing something similar with his except he's using little sketches. Great idea for the lazy. I hope this keeps me motivated to shoot and write a bit more. If not then maybe I’ll think of something better later until then here’s the first official image titled “Front Door Light”

Monsoon

2005-07-31T20:22:00.000-07:00

This years monsoon has been less than impressive. I thought for sure tonight we would get a show, but the clouds rolled in and rolled out. What a jip!

Great Waste of Time

2005-07-28T16:40:00.000-07:00

I have been playing with this ... umm ... thing for hours. Click here if you wanna try it and potentially lose an entire day.

Robin

2005-07-23T21:42:00.000-07:00

I am up right now trying to organize years of pictures and backup some of the more sentimental ones when I glance over and see my loyal dog Robin sitting here looking at me. I can't help but take her picture.

Studio Lighting is FUN

2005-07-17T22:08:00.000-07:00

After my most recent camera purchase I went crazy buying lighting equipment. This past weekend I finally had the time to set it all up and practice some portrait shooting. This is my favorite picture from the shoot.

New Camera

2005-07-03T23:13:00.000-07:00

I just purchased a Nikon D70s and I love it! Here is one of the first pictures I took with it.

Me on TV

2005-06-24T19:21:00.000-07:00

I have been addicted to WWE wrestling since it was the WWF. Last Monday wrestling came to town so of course I had to go. Currently I only have 2 friends that are into that nonsense as much as I am … Thanks Tyler and Tara! The highlight of the event was when Kurt Angle and Shawn Michaels took their match into the crowd right in front of our seats. So me never missing an opportunity … I reached out and slapped Kurt Angle in the back as he fell to the cement.

Check out the picture from RAW on tv … I’m in grey and my buddy Tyler is the one in green.

Slacker

2005-04-06T17:49:00.000-07:00

The combination of being busy and lazy has hindered me from posting new nonsense in all its glory. So solly! Here are a few links that have come across my desk for your viewing pleasure until I get my act back together.

Fecalgram
Oregon Trail Emulator
Naughy Pat O'Brien

1090

2005-03-25T08:41:00.000-07:00

I have had a long running interest; some might say an obsession, with the fabled mullet. It goes by many names and many styles however its true glory can only be captured in song.

Enjoy

Pure Gaming Update

2005-03-17T09:02:00.000-07:00

After my post yesterday, I achieved what no many before has; something that transcends time and space. I got the high score on shooter. Now I know that doesn’t sound like that big of a deal, however I beat the previous top score by over 4 times. This score was so amazing the game has to be changed to accommodate my superior playing style. I went freaking Matrix on that mutha.

Thank you Tyler for making this gem.

Pure Gaming

2005-03-16T17:10:00.000-07:00

My buddy Tyler is in the process of creating a simple flash game called “Shooter” which of course makes no sense since you don’t actually shoot anything. That aside this might be one of the most addicting games I have ever played. Shooter reminds me of a simpler time when there was no end to the game, just you and a machine throwing its best random punches with infinite levels. The goal is to dodge renegade butterflies attempting to devour your soul, or something like that.

Just play it and see what you are made of!

Me Then, Me Now

2005-03-10T17:49:00.000-07:00

I was recently talking with a friend that I had fallen out of touch with about the subject of personal change. When I was younger I was a ball of defense mechanisms. I would be the center of attention in the day then crash in hole of self doubt at night. Boo Who! I can’t do anything right, things never go my way … blah, blah, blah. Well after a few years of being spun around in the life spin cycle I have come to realize a few truths:

I don’t owe you shit and no one owes me anything either.
Life’s not fair! Don’t bitch about it, fix it!
You don’t have to support the system to use the system.
Exploiting stupid people for financial gain is not wrong if they let you.
The Government will not take care of you … that’s your job.
Pretty people will get further in life than ugly people, so don’t make it worse by having a bad personality.
Telling the truth and being disliked is better than telling lies and being hated. Plus the truth hurts more.

Now these truths are pretty obvious and it’s expected that most people would come to these conclusions at some point in there life, yet there are still plenty of people looking for handouts, bitching about their miserable existence, hoping Uncle Same will be there to take care of them in old age, and believing that being beautiful on the inside is all that matters. To these people I say good luck … your going to need it.

Best Damn Burrito

2005-03-03T14:18:00.000-07:00

Chipotle might have the best damn burrito in the history of burritos. The last few months I have been watching what I eat, but today I broke down and indulged in this magical creation. Chipotle I salute you!

Banned from Blogging

2005-02-24T20:35:00.000-07:00

The hammer was dropped and my work time posts are over. Today it was mentioned to us that it’s not appropriate to use both company time and resources to download music or leave blog posts. So now when I need a quick break from the daily grind and have a moment of brilliance that the whole world should hear I’ll just have to go back to what I use to do, before I found Blogger, IM with MSN Messenger!

Mad for Internet Bargains

2005-02-23T17:35:00.000-07:00

Every couple days I find a new obsession, today being one of those days I am absolutely addicted to RSS feeds and bargain websites. The combination of these two powers have sent me into a downward spiral of constant contemplation of buying crap I don’t need like that Ideazon Zboard with wacky layout or those Moen Faucets that include the metal pop-up drain. Don’t fall into this trap!

However if you are weak like me or just love a good bargain check out these sweet sites:

Cheap Stingy Bastard
More Stuff 4 Less
Hot Deals Club

And for an online RSS feed reader, News Gator has done me right so far.

I Love Photography & Paint

2005-02-22T17:27:00.000-07:00

I whole heartedly thank the first artist that decided using beautiful women as a canvas was a good idea.

Where do I learn to do this?

Donation Madness

2005-02-18T17:38:00.000-07:00

Following the success of my donation website fooslove.com, which paid for my brand new foosball table, my good friend Jade decided to take this idea of pure genius and attempt to convince the brain trust behind it (myself and code guru friend Matt) to convert the original to a new and improved site intended to raise some cash to Send Mandi Abroad. After pondering it awhile Matt and I agreed, plus it didn’t hurt that Jade promised various “favors” to be performed by Mandi herself!

Be Generous and Donate now at www.SendMandiAbroad.com

Like Judging Women on their Looks?

2005-02-17T17:40:00.000-07:00

I think judging a person on looks alone is probably a bad idea however; I can’t help myself especially when they are posted for just that reason!

Join me in critiquing these fine pieces of ACE at Maxim’s Hometown Hotties.

Tucker Max Makes Me Laugh

2005-02-16T09:48:00.000-07:00

Recently I was sent this website that chronicles the adventures of Tucker Max. It is by far the best website I have come across in a long time. It’s a great way to waste a good 3 – 5 days of work. The stories are all about his drunken exploits and blatant disrespect of everyone around him. HILARIOUS!

Start Reading Tucker Max Now

WOOT WOOT WOOT

2005-02-10T09:19:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was introduced to the website woot.com and can I just say I'm Woot crazy! This is an overstock website that showcases one item a day for insanely low prices. I highly recommend it if you have the means.

MSN Messenger Is Down

2005-02-08T13:39:00.000-07:00

I haven’t been able to log in all day. When I'm not logged in I feel so incomplete! Messenger has grown to be my number one method of communication and without it I’m lost. I use it to talk to people sitting next to me as well as across the county. If it doesn’t come back online soon there is a good chance I will never be heard from again!

If you are one of the last seven people that don't have MSN Messenger download it here

Paying for Hosting Sucks

2005-02-03T10:59:00.000-07:00

I have been using Catalog.com for years now because they give you free hosting with a domain registration. However since I began using Blogger the traffic has caused me to go over my bandwidth ... hence they feel they have the right to start charging me ... THOES BASTARDS! Since I want to go as long as possible without paying I have taken down the old suction archive. If any of these things are that important to you drop me a line and I’ll send you your own special copy.

Tax Dollars Fund Boner Meds

2005-02-01T10:15:00.000-07:00

Apparently Medicare will begin to cover grandpa’s stiffy pills starting next year. Don’t get me wrong I support any medicine that’s sole purpose is to give you wood, however I can’t support the unnatural act of elderly sex. Along with your drivers license the act of slamming grandma must be taken away at a certain age! Unless of course the old man is a true pimp and pulls a sweet trophy wife like Anna Nicole Smith then all bets are off!

Source: LA Times Website

Far to Long

2005-01-30T17:53:00.000-07:00

The last time I touched suction was about 2 years ago. My god where does the time go. I have missed it, but now I'm ready to start up once again ... at least for this week.